1 (of many) Things That Works Better Than Spanking
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Holidays can be a hard time for kids
Things are running differently and they’re being kept busy. It’s not unusual for you to notice major changes in their behaviour during this time. It’s to be expected, and it’s appropriate behaviour for kids.
But what did you do when their behaviour got challenging?
Your reaction plays a huge role to determine if the moment will be a coping and learning experience or if it will turn into a power struggle and meltdown.
This week on The Moving Mama I took a look at 8 articles that talk about spanking, the science behind it and what the Bible is really telling us. I enjoyed getting deeper into God’s Word as I read about these often misinterpreted Scriptures. You can read the post here.
To make it simple I will sum everything up – there is over 50 years of research to prove that spanking does not work, and the Bible isn’t actually instructing parents to spank their children.
I learnt a lot from these articles and I really enjoyed some of them which really looked at the Scriptures from a Jewish standpoint. I don’t think I could articulate it as well, so just check out the post here, read the insightful quotes and look read the posts that interest you.
So what should you do instead of spanking?
Surprisingly, a lot of people stick with spanking even though they think it might not be that great but because they don’t think there are other effective forms of discipline.
This isn’t true.
But spanking might bring quick “results.” A child will not repeat a “bad behaviour” anytime soon because they are terrified of the consequences, a child under Gentle Parenting may take a long time (and simply some growing up) before they can truly understand why that behaviour is not appropriate. This shapes them into good, strong people who obey God with love and not fear.
Gentle Parenting works better than spanking. You might not see the “results” today or tomorrow, but in the future, your child will grow and mature and your love and gentleness will facilitate their healthy brain development.
If you want to start with Gentle Parenting I have lots of resources on The Moving Mama you can check out, but I think this 1 tip is important to remember during the holidays.
Connection before correction.
Your child needs to spend quality time with you, they need their voice heard, they need your attention. Quality time together has to be just that – QUALITY. Here are some tips to really make your time together a quality experience:
- Look them in the eyes when you talk, get down to their level
- Put down your phone, book, cooking, etc. to focus completely on them and what they have to say
- Ask them meaningful questions to prompt conversation
- Make sure you can have 1 on 1 time, so each child has some special time with you
- Find ways to laugh and have fun together – do a craft, have a tickle fight, play a game
- Really listen to what they are saying
- Give them physical affection with hugs, cuddles, etc.
This time together will mean a lot to your child and will help them to maintain balance in their life. You are like their rock and they need you more than you might realize, even those pre-teens and teens!
So if you’re ever in a tight spot where you feel Gentle Parenting just WON’T work, ask yourself if you’ve given your child the connection with you that they need to thrive. Put yourself in their shows and try to understand where the behaviour is coming from before reacting with a spanking, yelling, time out, etc.
Gentle Parenting might feel really difficult, but it can have a profound effect on your family. Read more about Gentle Parenting here.
That’s all for today mama, have a wonderfully happy New Year! May 2018 be great!
More Posts You Might Like:
Jump into Gentle Parenting
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The Moving Mama
Lizzy Mash is an experienced early childhood educator now living in Africa as a missionary working with children and families.
She teaches Christian moms how to take a more respectful and Christ-like approach to motherhood by using Gentle Parenting strategies.
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