How to Help Your Child Process Their Emotions
(This post might contain affiliate links, which means if you happen to buy a product I love then I may get a commission - at no extra cost to you! For all the Ts and Cs go here.)
Do you ever read a book that you just cannot put down?
I started to read “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”this week and I have been glued to it! It’s jam packed with lots of really valuable information that has been really enlightening for me. I have a lot of formal education in positive discipline with being an early childhood educator, but this book is so simple and applicable for parents, I love it!
The first chapter is all about helping kids deal with their feelings, something I think is really important.
The book talks about how we really need to give kids our full attention and it goes into detail about how to do that. It’s made me really conscious how in a lot of my relationships it’s easy to just start talking without listening to what the other person said.
One of my favourite verses in the Bible is James 1:19-20 ESV “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.”
I love this verse because it always reminds me to really listen instead of reacting. It’s a verse I remind myself of a lot when it comes to my marriage, but I can see how important it is with kids as well.
When children are given a platform to speak (and be heard) they are able to process their emotions and problem solve much more efficiently than if the adult ignores them or gives them immediate advice.
Have you ever had a problem before and you talk to someone about it and you end up coming with a solution – not because they gave you advice but because talking it out helped you figure it out?
This works for kids too, and sometimes we might think we have the solution to all their problems, but if we give them a chance to problem solve on their own they will be able to practice a really important skill.
I want to raise confident problem solvers, how about you?
Another great piece of information to take away from the first chapter is to put a name to their emotion. I also read about this in “The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” and they called it, “name it to claim it.”
Do you ever start to feel sick but you’re unsure about what’s going on in your body, but then you see a doctor and they tell you it’s strep throat. You might feel a bit of relief knowing what it is. Strep throat isn’t fun, but it’s better than not knowing, right? You can handle what’s going on in your body better because you know what it is.
For kids and their emotions, it can be just like that.
In their body, they’re feeling all kinds of things, but they don’t really know whatit is.
If you ask them, “Are you mad?” they might be able to figure it out, but you could say, “Wow, you sound really mad about that,” and a little light bulb might pop over their head as they figure out that, hey, that is what they’re feeling!
It’s easier to process an emotion when you know what it is. It gives the emotion less power.
When children understand their emotions it empowers them, and you can play a huge role to help them do so by using these Gentle Parenting strategies and more.
Maybe one of the books on the list will be able to help you with a particular discipline issue you are having at home.
Right now, what’s your biggest challenge with discipline? Is there anything that has been really difficult for you? I would love to help, maybe I could do some research for you and write a new post about it.
Until next time,
Jump into Gentle Parenting
Download the 2 week challenge with simple daily tasks to learn how to bring Gentle Parenting into your home for effective discipline.
The Moving Mama
Lizzy Mash is an experienced early childhood educator now living in Africa as a missionary working with children and families.
She teaches Christian moms how to take a more respectful and Christ-like approach to motherhood by using Gentle Parenting strategies.
More Posts You Might Like
Being gentle when you discipline your child can be difficult but this one tip can help you to always handling your children with gentleness.
Feeling TRIGGERED by this behaviour? (This post might contain affiliate links, which means if you happen to buy a product I love then I may get a commission - at no extra cost to you! For all the Ts and Cs go here.) Imagine this scene for a moment… You’re...